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Dan Posternock, Esq.
Managing Shareholder and Director of the Litigation and Business Practices
Jeffrey S. Apell, Esq.
Shareholder and Director of the Real Estate and Estate Practices
Erwin Apell, Esq.
Robyn Goldenberg, Esq.
Chief Operating Officer and Co-Director of the Estate Practice
Marie Maney, Esq.
Judith A. Schneider
Diana R. Sever, Esq.
Litigation and Special Education Team Leader

What is Conscious Uncoupling and is it Right for You?

When actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Cold Play front man Chris Martin announced they were “consciously uncoupling” after 10 years of marriage, most of the world raised a collective eyebrow. What? Conscious uncoupling? You mean divorce, right?

If we are dealing in technicalities, yes, conscious uncoupling is just a nice way of saying we are getting a divorce, likely a collaborative law divorce. However, the term conscious uncoupling is linked to a growing trend of un-hostile, non-combative and collaborative divorce. Basically, they are going to get divorced without trashing each other in the media, while trying to put the feelings of their children first.

Paltrow made the announcement on her website in late March. Also on the website was an accompanying article by Drs. Habib Sadeghi and Sherry Sami, explaining their theory of conscious uncoupling. In their essay, they elude to the fact that “till death do us part,” may not be realistic with higher life expectancies.

The term was coined in the United States in 2009, when marriage therapist Katherine Woodward and a filmmaker friend came up with it in general conversation. She said they were searching for a way to “frame the end of a marriage or a relationship in a positive light,” according to The Wall Street Journal.

Contrary to what we’ve all seen on television, movies and in the media, the end of a marriage does not have to be a knockdown, no-holds-barred death match. It doesn’t have to involve legal tug of wars over custody, alimony, child support and division of assets.

Paltrow and Martin are attempting to show that a divorce can be amicable, if both parties choose to do so. Conscious uncoupling or collaborative divorce are less expensive and less time-consuming than going the litigation route.

If you’re married with children, the best thing you can do for them is remain together. But if it becomes apparent that it’s time to go separate ways, the next best thing you can do for your children is to divorce as peacefully and easily as possible.

When your marriage is nearing the end, you have multiple options. Talk to the knowledgeable attorneys at Posternock Apell, PC. We will listen to your story and advise about the best course of action for your family.

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